So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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