That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just gift wrapped bread.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My life is pants optional.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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