On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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