you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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