I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
