I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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