He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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