True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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