we have pet lesbian snakes
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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