I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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