Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
