have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
