just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize