She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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