Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
