those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize