oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
