He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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