I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
