i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize