I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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