how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They have beer where we have blood.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
