I just pynch a tree in the face
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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