It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize