I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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