I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize