All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
