I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Green mimosas i think yes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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