Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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