i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
