theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
