forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
