Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
