i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
