It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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