I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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