I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
