my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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