I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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