it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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