So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
