so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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