When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
