Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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