Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
