girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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