Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
