yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize