You're so nebulous sometimes
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
