i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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