Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
