it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
