You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
