My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize