Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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