The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
