I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
