My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize