Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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