I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize