I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize